chapter 12

i miss writing so much, adre 6awalt bas methel ma gelt its ramadhaan i cant post wayed:( 

yala enjoy xo 

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dhari: enshallah wala ana ga3ed a7awel w ma tga9roun keelkoum;*** 

me: al3afou!

dhari: ;*

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"t9adeg 3ad, men hathel kelhoum ehya alwa7eda ele 7abait'ha.. wala 7asait 9ej t7bny w meste3eda tsawy ay shay 3ashany!! wgefat ma3ay lama makan a7ad ma3ay.. mu fake nafs althanen.. hal 3 months ele maraw kanaw a93ab sh'hour eb 7ayaty kelha.. mrait eb kte2ab, ta3athabt w met yala 9ert a7san bshway.."

dr. hassan: w bas? hathe kel al8e9a? 

dhari: ehh dector.. w ele tawa gelta akher shay! bas abeek tgouly shasawe tukfa

dr. hassan: shouf dhari, al7een enta mu t7eebha? goulhaa w 9adgne bt9er a7san.. tgrab men rabik.. 9al rak3tain etha t'thayagt.. egra qur2an!! w e7med rabik enek terakt shaghlat al le3eb..

dhari: enshallah dector.. mashkour w ma tga9err.. yaalah ma3asa alsalama w nshoufik eb almw3ed alyaay..

dr. hassan: enshallah..

methel ma tshoufun.. men kether altha86 ele ta3arthtla gemt arou7 7ag dector nafse.. 7aayll ta2azaamt.. kela ga3ed eb baitna maby ashouf a7ad.. bas fe wa7da kanat kela tyena baitna.. shahad, ehh shahad! ma khalatny brou7y! kel yomain tyee baitna w teg3ad 3end thou7a w shway teg3ad weyaay.. agoulaha kel shay.. w tesma3 p.s: ترى احلى شي تسوونا حق الي تحبون انكم تسمعون لهم.. تحسسونم انكم مهتمين.. والله مانبي شي غير انكم تسمعون لنا.. *back to the story: ma tgoul shay wala et'thamar.. kent ashouf 7ubha ley b3younha.. w akh 3younha 7ail fath7atha! 7uby laha kel youm yzeed.. w enshallah bas ou9al baitna badeg 3alaiha.. w bagoul laha kel shay..  

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raghad's [•p.o.v•]

"yala yala khal9eny thelfay, jedamy yala la bln3aal"

me: shway shway wala ga3d t3awrne khala9:'( wakher 3any!!

"LA T3ALEN 9OUTICH 3ALAY FAHMA!!!!!!" 

me: enshallah..

"ga9ben 3alaich tgoulen enshallah!!!"

*my life is just a mess, i hate my dad! i H A T E him.. weird right? haha. i just dont know why he doesnt treat me well, im his  

daughter for gods sake!!:( ma a7ad yadry 3an ele y9er feny.. kela 3abalhoum ene mestansaa.. i always fake smiles w it works :D < im faking smile rn [right now] haha.. i also love a guy who doesnt love me back, from 2 years ago. how sad?:( and he doesnt know that i exist a9laaaan:D & i have a friend.. she cuts.. but i love her.. 

-one day..

me: khala9 re7maayy nafsich bass!!!

"raghod fehmaayy i cant!! 9a3eebbb walaa!!"

 

me: en ma wagaftayy i'll cut walaa.

"habla entay? 3abalich sahel? tara y3aweer 7ail!!"

me: eeeh men 9eje, okay etha y3awer laish you cut? esthbal? 

"bas please close this subject." 

me: i wont, fehmay i care about you!!!

"okay im sorry raghad bas ma agdar."

me: khala9 i'll cut men 9eje :D 

"dont."

me: wagfay 3ashan i dont cut.

"ma aby."

me: fine then i'll cut :* 

"huuuuufffff." 

w 9arly 4 months.. it hurts.. LIKE JAD.. you lose blood, a lot of blood.. sometimes i cry.. lol.. ele tgoul shallah 7adha.. i hate my life+ my best friend tsawe hal shay.. laish ma asaweh? w ashouf ena yray7ne.. a6ale3 kel ele eb galbe 3ala my skin.. bas ele 9ej y3awer lama obouy y6gny w y7oush almukan ele i cut fehh.. hnyyy amout 3aad.. w ele tes2al laish y3amlne chthy cause kan yaby walad bedaly ana.. fa gam y7e6 kel 7areta fene!:'D wow.

"im depressed, i need my pen, i need my note book.. i want them so bad, i miss writing about what i feel &yes when i write i feel SO MUCH BETTER." 

تسأل عنه.. 

ولا يسأل عنها..

تحادثه..

ولا يحادثها..

تشتاق اليه..

و تعلم انه لا يشتاق اليها.. 

تسأل قلبها دائماً..

"اخ يا قلبي.. لماذا انت شقيٌ هكذا؟ تحب احداً لا يحبك.. وتعلم بذلك.. ولكنك لا تريد الانسحاب.. انسحب.."

ترد لواقعها.. تحاول الانساحب حِفاضاً على ما تبقى من كرامتها.. وعلى جمله ابيها المعتاده..

"كوني عزيزةَ نفسٍ تصبحين غاليه في عيونهم.." 

*this one is for my j <3

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3azam's [•p.o.v•]

me: w kamlna 2 months together! wala 7ady mestanees mattkhayleen shkether!! 

"3azaaam!! wala ana akthaar<3 alah la y7rmne menek jaddd.." 

me: 7abeebty entayy;** ameen wala menech ya rou7yy, shoufay tara alyoum baayeekouum bag3ad weya f9ail fa meray chenech ma tadreen..=))

"benawer baitna walaa!<3 7ayaaak! lool 3ayar enshallaah banzel=))" 

ehh ehh ana w njoud n7eb ba3ath w kel shay 9ar bser3a bser3aa w im planning to marry her lama atkharaj enshallah!<3

-flashbacks- 17-6-2012.

the day i'll never forget.. 

me: njouuuddd a7eeeeebichhh!!!!!!! yakhy 7esay wala a7ebich

njoud: lol 7abetek al3afya

me: men 9eje ana a7ebich shfeech!!! 

njoud: lol okay? 

me: ya kerhech please fakraayy!!! 

njoud: enshallah enshallah:: yala bye now!

me: rabe ya7fthech.. 

"3AZAM BAGOULIK SHAY"

me: 3youn 3azam? rou7 3azam? galb 3azam? entay bas amry tdaleelaay?

"A7EBIK."

me: NJOUD WALA ENE 6AYER MEN ALFAR7A!!! wala ma adre shgoul a7eebich 7ayl 7ayl.!!!!!!!!!

njoud: hahaha akthar wala:$ 

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comment please eb ay mukan tabouna xxo